Monday, December 12, 2011

If Tristi Re-wrote the Christmas Songs

There are some songs I wish I could get my hands on and rewrite. Here are just a few, just to give you an idea of how deep this neurosis goes.

1. "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart." (Tristi's next line: "You opened the box, and said, 'Ew, gross.'" Yeah, I know, it doesn't rhyme.)

2. "Up on the rooftop, reindeer pause." (Tristi's next line: "Betcha didn't know reindeer had paws.")

3. "Everybody knows a turkey." (Tristi's next line: "And he talks to you.")

I also want to tweak almost every movie I've ever seen. I know ... I need to get over it.

3 comments:

Pam Williams said...

No, no, don't get over it! I have a nephew who used to substitute the word "Jews" in song lyrics for the word "you," as in "I just called to say I love Jews." It's as bad (and possibly profane) as going through the hymnbook and adding "in the bath" at the end of every title. You'll want to skip some sections, of course, but to a 12-year-old boy it's sidesplitting and madly, mindlessly hilarious. But honestly, some lyrics just beg to be parodied. I'm have to get my husband sing for you sometime his version of "My Way," or "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face," which he rewrote as the story of a girl with problem skin and called "I've Grown a Mushroom on Her Face." But you have to be in an excessively silly mood.

Leigh Covington said...

LOL! Funny. I never thought much about the songs, but I always do that with movies. :)

Wendy Swore said...

You evil thing, Tristi! I read this post a few days ago and now every time I hear "Last christmas, I gave you my..." I think, "...opened the box and said, Ew gross."

Strangely, I don't think it's hurt the song any. THe song might have been good the first hundred times, but by now, yeah, variety is good.

*hehe*

BTW, I'm giving away one of your books on my blog. You rock.

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