Sunday, December 09, 2007

There's Something about Amanda*

Right after my husband and I became engaged, a new girl moved into our stake and started attending our single young adult ward. She was beautiful. Picture a blonde, blue-eyed porcelain doll, dressed in a frilly blue dress, ringlets out the ying-yang -- she was just lovely. She was the kind of girl that all us moderately plain girls just instinctively hate because we know we'll never look like that. Sure, we'll get dressed up and we'll look nice, but we'll never look like that.

Turns out she had a relative working at the same store where my fiance worked, and so she had met him before. It also turns out that she had a little bit of a crush on him. Well, my sweetie was very naive and (thankfully) very much in love with me, so he didn't see what was going on. But it wasn't half an hour before Amanda* had him in the hall, standing up against the closet doors, while she cooed at him, laying her delicate little paw on his arm.

I see this. I also see red. I know full well what's going on here - and I take care of it. I walk up to his other side, tuck my arm through his, and say, "Amanda, have you met my fiance?"

Little hoods draw over her lovely blue eyes and she replies, "Oh, he's engaged? Congratulations!" She simpers. She fawns. She asks when the wedding will be and if she can come to the reception. She removes her hand from his arm. I don't remove my hand from his arm. Poor man probably felt like he was surrounded by she-tigers. Or, at least, he ought to -- he didn't realize what was going on.

Later I explained.

"She was flirting with me?" he asked, his own lovely eyes wide open.

"Heck yes!" I replied.

"I didn't notice," was his wonderful response, and I was a very happy girl.

Tonight my honey was telling me about the first girl that had ever openly pursued him in high school. She was cute, she was somewhat popular, and her name . . . was Amanda.*

Can I just say -- we will never have a daughter named Amanda. Or a cat. Or a dog. Or a goldfish.

*name has been changed to protect the flirtatious


Candace E. Salima said...

Very funny, Tristi. I've run into a few of those "Amanda" types myself. Seriously predatory women they are!

By the way -- the six finalists for the Best Husband in the World contest are posted on my blogspot. Please pop on over, read through them (they really are wonderful men), vote and then spread the word far and wide. Merry Christmas!

Lisa said...

I have been through that!! I have a couple of names our children won't be named. However, my daughter is Amanda and she is a little love bug.

Anne Bradshaw said...

Oh, Tristi, you are delightful. How funny.

Jen said...

Aw come on, why not a dog? Mwahahahaha. Dontcha hate people like that?

Seriously though, my dad was named after my grandma's ex boyfriend!!!! I don't know how she pulled that one off. :D

My kids each share names with people Paul knew as a kid-he did date a girl named Jordan. Needless to say, our son was named after the Jordan River Temple, which is the first temple Paul went to.

Taryn was a little girl in Paul's first grade class, and he's always like the name. I had never heard it before when he brought it up, but now I hear it all the time-there's even a Taryn Rose shoe company, go figure.

Rebecca Talley said...

Yep, I've outlawed names at my house for the same reason.

Shellie said...

Hope it didn't turn out to be the same Amanda!

Luisa Perkins said...

Excellent story. Yep, this is why we'll never have a 'Sarah.' (Or a 'Dennis,' for that matter.

Mandi said...

What a shame... Amanda's such a lovely name... ;)

Anonymous said...

I love the way you told this Tristi. Kathleen :)

carrie & troy keiser said...

Sometimes men are so naive! {or know when to pretend..} :S

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