Yesterday . . . well, it was a day. That's about the best way to sum it up.
So, I have these four kids, see. And I don't often take them all out in public at the same time. But yesterday I decided I wanted to run some errands, and I didn't want to wait until my husband got home, and I couldn't anyway because half the places I needed to go would be closed if I waited. I got my itinerary all mapped out, had the kids go potty, put some candy in my purse, and out the door we went.
After first hearing the endless cries of, "Can I get in the van first?" we got buckled and were on our way. We're heading up the road when I hear, "Mom, I'm starving." I was about to launch into a diatribe about how we're not going to get something to eat every single time we leave the house when it suddenly occurred to me -- I'd forgotten to feed the children. Well, and myself too, but I tend to not notice things like that. So we pulled into Wendy's and got everyone something to eat.
Then we headed to the library. I had to pick up a book that was on hold and I needed more Christmas picture books. We headed in (me with Benjamin tucked under my arm because he would not hold my hand to cross the parking lot, and if he won't hold my hand, he doesn't get to walk) I grabbed the books, and we were on our way out when Benjamin decided he wanted to stay. Presto -- out came the candy. I'm so clever. I got the books checked out and we began our journey back out to the van -- and Benjamin didn't want to get in. Did I mention he's three? I finally had to remind him that he had a cheeseburger waiting for him in his sack and then he got in. Phew.
Then it was time to go to the bank. There's a location on one of the busiest roads in town, yeah, the one where they're doing all the construction. So I plot the best way to get from the library to the bank and I'm on the road and I'm in the right lane and I'm feeling good about life and I can't see the bank anywhere and cars behind me are starting to get cranky that I'm slowing down. So I decide to forget it and continue on to my next destination.
Believe it or not, that one went off without a hitch. I pulled up right to the door, ran in, handed the stuff to the receptionist, had the kids in my line of sight the whole time, and dashed out.
Then I had the bright idea of going to the bank in Pleasant Grove. I was already half-way there, and I know where the bank is there already. So we headed down the road.
And it happened.
The thing that strikes fear into the hearts of mothers worldwide.
The reason why mothers of four children dread venturing into public.
"Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom."
This necessitates taking everyone inside. At this same point I noticed that I was almost out of gas. So, I pulled into a gas station and we got everyone out, trundled in to the bathroom, and got everyone back out into the car. Then I pulled to the pump, got gas, and we were on our way again.
We made it to the bank, we made it back home, dusk was falling, my husband pulled in, he let me lock myself in the bedroom for an hour, and I read myself into a state of numbness before venturing back out into the world.
You see why I rarely take all four of them with me. And I only take them to the grocery store if we are absolutely out of food and are in danger of developing scurvy and osteoporosis and polio and mange.