Apprehension

My e-mail's back up again this morning, and I can't tell you what a relief that is. I've only sent a few e-mails this morning so far, but just knowing I can is a tremendous relief. Like having a van with enough car seats parked in your driveway -- you might not want to go anywhere right this minute, but knowing you can gives you a sense of freedom.

But since I don't know why my e-mail crashed in the first place, I wonder if it's going to happen again. Comcast hasn't contacted me to let me know the cause, so I'm guessing -- was it a phase of the moon? Did it not like the shirt I had on yesterday? Was my breath bad? Did I insult the computer in some way? Should I have worn a lucky rabbit's foot? With so many possibilities, how am I ever to hit on the right one?

For now, I'll continue holding my breath (just slightly, not enough to turn blue) every time I click on "send," until I see that it hasn't rejected me. Rejection has to be one of the worst feelings in the world, especially when it comes from your beloved e-mail. I'll forever wonder if the magic has gone out of our relationship.