Today's my birthday. That's right -- I've reached the ripe old age of 32. Some days I'm amazed I've lived this long!
It's been a fun day. I went to our stake Women's Conference this morning and heard some wonderful talks which gave me hope about this whole motherhood thing that so baffles me from time to time (like, every minute of every day) and talked with some great women from my ward. I went on some errands and bought myself an early dinner at a real restaurant, and drafted out the next several scenes in my work in progress while waiting for my food to arrive. Then I came home and watched a movie while eating my birthday cheesecake. It was a great day.
My kids were awfully cute. My daughter decided that, as a birthday surprise, she would teach my toddler how to drink out of a cup. She used her own money to buy him a cute cup and a sticker chart. Every time he drank out of the cup for this whole last week, she put a sticker on the chart. I noticed this going on but didn't know it was my birthday surprise. It was so precious, I didn't have the heart to tell her that he actually does pretty well with a cup already.
My nine-year-old gave me a vending machine ring, my six-year-old gave me a kiss, and all my kids gave me cards. Even my toddler drew in his, and can I just say, he can really draw! He drew Steve and a handy dandy notebook (from Blue's Clues) and a cookie and a monster (although not Cookie Monster).
I've always enjoyed spending time on my birthday reflecting about the last year, the progress I've made, the areas in which I haven't done so well. This year is no different.
I've finally gotten to the point where I can be myself without worrying what other people think about me. I realize that there will always be people who don't like me, and that's okay. I don't have to try to make them like me or to try and "fix" the problem -- certain types of personalities just clash and if someone doesn't like me, it doesn't make me bad and it doesn't make them bad. It just means they don't like me. I've never been socially shy, but now I feel a little more free to just be me. (I can hear those of you who know me groan -- yes, this does mean more costumes, more dancing in grocery stores, more outrageous behavior of all kinds . . . )
On the other hand, I find myself getting too distracted by the mundane and not being focused enough on the eternal. I really need to realign my priorities here. I'm not really a Mary or a Martha -- I'm the third sister, Betty Sue. She wasn't preparing the food and she wasn't listening to Christ -- she was running from thing to thing, checking her e-mail (or whatever the ancient Israeli form of e-mail might have been) and fully meaning to go sit with Mary, or help Martha, but she had to change the laundry first, and then sew on a button, and . . . and . . . by the time she got into the other room, the meal was served, everyone had left, and she was standing there with her mouth open, wondering how time could have flown like that. Definitely something to work on.
I'm excited about this new year in my life. I think a lot of things are going to change for me this year. The wind has a different sound to it right now and I think it's preparing to send new things my way.
So, happy birthday, me! I'm going to go soak in the tub and just listen to it be quiet for a little while. Truly something to celebrate.