Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Basic Human Rights

There are certain human rights that we have simply by virtue of being alive. We have the right to love and be loved, to be treated kindly, and to choose our attitudes regardless of our circumstances. There are additional rights outlined by the Founding Fathers, most simply, those of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. We have the right to free speech and the right to bear arms.

Today, however, I would like to talk about a more fundamental right, one that is so fundamental, in fact, that it goes overlooked.

I refer to the right to go to the bathroom.

I have four children. They range in age from eleven and a half to three. They are homeschooled, and so, they are home throughout the day. I set them to their various tasks, and then I walk toward the bathroom. Unerringly, without fail, with startling predictability, someone will have a problem just as I disappear from sight, necessitating my return. Sometimes the problem is of an academic nature, and I can politely ask them to wait for five minutes. Other times, the problem is more of a my-brother-has-me-in-a-headlock-and-is-tweezing-my-eyebrows-with-his-fingernails sort of problem. Those I can't delay solving.

On those rare occasions when I actually do succeed in walking into the bathroom, like the sun rises in the east each morning, I hear the echoes of screaming within about forty-five seconds after my departure. Then I hear a voice outside the door. "Mooooom! He says he's going to eat me for lunch!"

I reply, "Is it possible for him to eat you?"

"No."

"If it's not possible, then why are you upset?"

"Because he said it. Tell him not to say it."

I love freedom of speech. It's what gives me the ability to say whatever I want to on this blog. I love our other basic human rights. I believe they are inspired and we should fight to preserve them. I just have one request -- that the right to use the bathroom, without interruption, be added to the list. If it were ever put to a vote, it would win by a landslide. Frazzled Parents of America, unite!

16 comments:

Marcia Mickelson said...

I'll vote for that only if I can add a shower too. This morning as I was coming out of my shower, my 2 1/2 year old pushed a little Valentine card under the door. It was quite cute. It was from Toy story--pig, potato head, and dinosaur sitting together and it said best friends. He just stuck it under there and then ran away.

Tristi Pinkston said...

I don't know if we can add a shower immediately. We usually have to work our way up. We'll start with one small request, and then take it back to Congress with just a little more added, and then a little more. Before long, we should be able to shower, eat ice cream, and read a sappy book all without interruption. But we've got to start small and work our way up. Otherwise, they'll see us coming and shut us down before we get started.

Don said...

Two words, Tristi: Ear Plugs

"I can't heeeaar you. Whatever it is, it's just going to have to wait!"

Just don't clip your nose, in case there's smoke involved.

Jen said...

Too funny Tristi. Cute post today.

Lynne said...

And it's not just kids that cause the interruptions. How about hungry dogs early in the morning? Or husbands who can't figure out how to do something?

wom said...

I know the feeling well...my kids would camp outside the locked bathroom door, trying to talk to me. Then little fingers would race back and forth under the door. Soon I would hear "Mom..I see you!" and "When are you coming out?" I will vote for that one, All Moms need some quiet time, to them selfs in the bathroom.

Janette Rallison said...

I have sooooo been there and done that. I've had many children who loved to stick their chubby little fingers under the door like it was some great game.

Karlene said...

I probably shouldn't have laughed so hard at this because really, I can remember your pain. Just hold on a few more years and you can go to the bathroom in peace as many times as you want. Which is a good thing, but sometimes it's a little lonely in there when no one's home to bang on the door.

Holly said...

LOL! I feel your pain.

Dan and Wendy said...

um, er, would this constitute too much of a good thing???

Jen said...

"Just hold on a few more years and you can go to the bathroom in peace as many times as you want."

Karlene's comment, lol. Yeah Tristi, just hold it a little longer. Ha ha ha.

Tristi Pinkston said...

Oh, dear, Dan! I'm still laughing. It's tragic, but . . still, that's pretty funny.

Yet I can almost see the temptation to go in and never come out. Especially if someone is passing you food and clothes.

Fronk Family said...

Tristi,
I'm a friend of Danyelle's. I completely agree with you. Maybe we should start charging a toll for interruptions! Then I could get some of that allowance money back in my pocket!
Teri

carrie & troy keiser said...

HEHEHAHAH! :D I will join you in this! I applaud you for homeschooling! I'm sure someone would die, if I took that challenge.

Jen said...

I have joined your ranks today. Even the animals are organizing with the children to keep me from peeing.

Shellie said...

i'M SO WITH YOU ON THIS ONE!

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