Here are some more examples from my edit of my WIP.
Was: Four months had gone by since Neil left, and with him and Benjiro both gone,
Now is: Four months had passed since Neil left, and with him and Benjiro both gone,
See how we got rid of the word repetition by rephrasing?
Was: Ken pulled a stack of papers off the kitchen counter and moved them to the table where he could spread them out and look at them.
Okay, this one's a little more subtle. A stack of papers is singular. Papers is plural, but when you put them in a stack, it becomes singular. So Ken didn't move them, he moved it.
Now is: Ken pulled a stack of papers off the kitchen counter and moved it to the table where he could spread everything out and look at it.
2 comments:
Sometimes I find myself using the same word over and over. Have to change it - drives me crazy. And I'm pretty much a stickler for making sure that singulars and plurals are correct. One other thing that I'm very conscious of is the use of was and were after if - such as "If I were planning" instead of "If I was planning." So many people use was incorrectly.
I would be one of those that uses it incorrectly! I fully understand lots of other things, but that one eludes me. My worst one, though, is lay/lie/laid and all their cousins. I get those wrong almost every time. Thank goodness for editors!
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